Do You Have Unrealistic Expectations for Your Horse? #71

#debono moves #horsehumanconnection #horsemind #horsemovement horsepodcast May 01, 2024

Does your horse sometimes seem reluctant or struggle with the activities you've chosen?  

Too often, owners force horses into roles or disciplines unsuitable for their physical abilities or temperament. 

The key to harmony is finding mutually enjoyable activities for both horse and human. While challenging our horses is important, we must also respect their individual needs and limitations. 

In this episode, Mary encourages shifting our mindset, adjusting expectations, and prioritizing activities that create a positive experience.

Building a partnership centered on understanding and shared happiness, rather than forced submission, is the core philosophy. Join Mary as she offers solutions for overcoming physical and emotional obstacles to better connect with your horse. Get her expert advice for bringing out the best in both you and your equine partner.



Free rider masterclass:

[email protected]

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical or veterinary advice.  


Hi, are you trying to get your horse to fit into a role that they're suited for? It happens more often than you think, and it's often a really unconscious thing that we do in a case we're meeting for the first time. My name is Mary Debono and this is the Easier Movement, happier Horse Podcast. So yes, in my 30 plus career of working with horses and riders,

I have seen this over and over again. Someone will, will buy a horse. They have a specific goal or dream in mind that they wanna do with that horse. And the horse has other ideas. Sometimes it's a physical issue that the horse just isn't physically capable of doing the work that they want, or sometimes it's a, a temperamental issue. In other words,

the horse doesn't have the temperament, the emotional skills, if you will, to deal with what the person wants them to. And, you know, definitely there are ways, I mean, I specialize in this, in helping horses move more freely, right? To handle greater demands on their bodies and their minds. Okay? So I, I work with both the physical and the emotional states,

and sometimes that's not enough. In other words, sometimes horses just have, you know, a structural issue, whether it's a new injury or an injury that just reared its ugly head. But you have already purchased the horse and now you're finding out like, oh, this horse can't do this. There's this old injury or structural deviation. We have to be okay with that.

Well, I shouldn't say we have to. Okay? I would suggest you be okay with that and to look at things realistically. Again, that does not mean you just completely give up, but the way I look at it is I want my horses to be happy to be, to be, you know, enthusiastic to enjoy interactions, right? So that's always been my thing.

So with all the horses I've had, I've always looked for things that we could do together that meet both our needs, that create that sense of true partnership, right? It's not just partnership, just saying that word, right? You know, somehow magically makes it happen. But it's actually looking at the horse, treating your horse as an individual, not just as a representative of a species,

but as an individual. And then, you know, asking, how can I help my horse really enjoy this with me? Or do I have to change my expectations of my horse? So again, in the work that I teach, right, I help people do hands-on gentle hands-on form of, you know, work that allows horses to move more freely,

to Have more emotional stability, to be more relaxed, to be more responsive, to deepen your bond. So a lot of amazing things can happen. I've had many clients over the years say, wow, I never thought I could do X, Y, and Z with my horse, but I can now my horse loves it, or themselves physically can now do the work because I also work with the humans.

But there still is a limit. If your horse really doesn't like something that they're not suited for it, again, either physically and or emotionally. It is really, in my opinion, imperative that we look at that, that we treat horses as ascension beings, that they are, and be respectful of their unique needs. Okay? And their potential, you know,

I don't wanna say limitations, it's just differences, I guess is a better word, that there differences and not assume that, okay, I, I did this in the past with horses, or I've seen other people do this, and now I wanna do it. And magically your horse is going to be physically and mentally able to do it. Please don't do that.

Okay? And just think about, you know, how you can enjoy the experience together. How, you know, what could you change about it? How could you manage the environment, manage your expectations so that you both have a good time? It could be pleasurable and, you know, enriching for both of you. Okay? So that's just basically what I wanna leave you with this week.

That idea of, you know, are, ask yourself, where in my horse's life can I make things easier for my horse, where I can make things more enjoyable for my horse? What can I change about the way I'm approaching this? You know, how I'm thinking about what I, what I would like to do with my horse. Sometimes it's just a little mental reframe that will change everything.

And how can I look at, you know, challenges that I'm having with my horse? How can I look at them in a new way and, and have some kind of out of the box thinking, really would encourage you to do that. And to again, you know, ask yourself how can you and your horse feel great together? Because you both deserve that.

Okay? Well, thank you for joining me for this short episode. I so appreciate you and let me know what you're, what you're struggling with, what you might have challenges with, with your horse, whether it's something physical or emotional from you and or your horse. I'd love to to hear about it and I could potentially do a podcast that'll give you some solutions.

So thank you again for joining me. I look forward to talking to you again soon. Bye for now.