Force vs Power: The Kinder, More Effective Path to Change #135

Discover why real improvement for your horse or dog isn’t something you can make happen. Force tries to impose change from the outside. True power creates the conditions for learning, so your animal's nervous system can discover safer, easier ways of moving and being.

This gentle, respectful process not only improves comfort and mobility but also deepens trust and connection—for your animals and for you. 

Resources:

Grab your FREE video training to help your dog. 🐕 https://www.marydebono.com/lovedog 💥

💥Learn how the Feldenkrais Method can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos masterclass: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Get Mary’s bestselling, award-winning book, “Grow Young with Your Dog,” for a super low price at: https://tinyurl.com/growyoungwithyourdog. Demonstration videos are included at no extra cost. ⬅️⬅️⬅️

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical or veterinary advice or professional training advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider if you, your horse, or your dog are unwell or injured.  Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses and dogs.

About the Host:

Mary Debono is a pioneer in animal and human wellness, blending her expertise as an international clinician, best-selling author, and certified Feldenkrais Method® practitioner. With over three decades of experience, Mary developed Debono Moves, a groundbreaking approach that enhances the performance, well-being, and partnership of animals and their humans.

Mary's innovative approach draws from the Feldenkrais Method®, tailored specifically for horse and dog enthusiasts.  Her methods have helped animals and humans:

• Improve athletic ability and performance
• Enhance confidence and reduce anxiety
• Reduce physical limitations and discomfort
• Deepen the human-animal bond

Mary's flagship online programs, "Move with Your Horse" and "Easier Movement, Happier Dogs," provide animal enthusiasts with an innovative approach that combines the concepts of Feldenkrais® with her signature hands-on work for horses and dogs (Debono Moves). Through this transformative approach, both people and their animal companions discover greater harmony, ease, and connection.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello and welcome to Easier Movement, Happier Life for you, your horses and dogs. I'm Mary Debono, and today I want to talk to you about the difference between force and power. You may not really think about that. Like, is there much difference? But let's break it down because I think that this can transform the way you, the way you move, the way you connect with your animals, and the way you can help your horses and dogs and maybe even change how you live your life.

Okay, so let's start with force. What do you think of when you think of forcing something? What do you think? Now, for some of you equestrians, you might think that force is, for example, like pulling your horse into a quote, unquote, better frame. That would be force, or forcing a horse to do something, you know, using artificial aids, maybe, you know, painful aversive tools, if you will. So that is one way that you can force, or a couple of ways that you can force a horse.

But it, it really goes deeper than that. And let's talk about dogs, too. So for the dog people out there as well, you know, you can think also that, well, force could be like pushing your dog into a situation rather than teaching your dog how to sit and kind of capturing that, that behavior. So that's one way, but that's not. Those are not the only ways of forcing horses and dogs.

So this is what I want to be really clear about, because I see it all the time with people that they, they want to help their dog, I mean, or horse. They want to, you know, very, very authentically, very, very sincerely, are looking for ways to help their animal move better, feel better, do all that good stuff. But they're using methods that basically oppose that animal's nervous system.

So they're trying to get the horse or the dog's body to be a certain way, for the muscles to be a certain way, for example, or, you know, for the joints to move a certain way. Now, I understand that there's all different approaches that all different approaches, and many of them are valid. But I'm going to talk about the ones that I use and I teach. So as many of you know, I'm a Feldenkrais Method teacher.

I have been for, for a long, long time. And I developed something called Dibono Moves that's been inspired by the teachings of Moshe Feldenkrais. And Debono moves is used with horses, dogs, cats, rabbits. I mean, anyone with a nervous system. And the Feldenkrais method is something I teach for humans. So those are both approaches Both Feldenkrais for you and De Bono moves for your animals are designed to help you communicate with the nervous system so that we can actually create a sense of empowerment rather than force.

Let me give you one little example. So a new student in my Move with your horse program, the foundations program, which I just recently opened up, by the way, we have a wonderful group. Wonderful, wonderful group. I'm so excited. And she contacted me and told me that the practice that we were doing in the class, you know, the exercise I was teaching them, the process is. It's called connected breathing.

We do this with dogs as well. And there's part of it is I h. I invite the students to switch from having your hands gently on your horse, for example, this, again, this also applies to the dog. So we'll just say maybe animal having the hands on the animal and really feeling. Really tuning in to what they're feeling in their hands and, you know, what kind of sensations, what they're hearing, you know, using all the senses to listen to their animal.

Then I have them kind of flip a switch in their brain and think, instead of you touching your animal, think now that your animal is touching you, because they are. They're touching you, your hands with their rib cage. Okay? If your hands are on the animal's rib cage. So in her situation, her mare, her horse had been fidgety. And as soon as she flipped that switch in her brain and started thinking more about, oh, my horse is.

Is feeling. Is touching me, the horse would quiet. And then when she flipped back, because this is part of the process I teach, she flipped back to, I'm touching my horse. Her horse immediately fidgeted again. And my theory on that, on why that happened, because she's not the only one that's had that experience, is when we get into that mode of, okay, I'm touching my horse in this case, or.

Or dog, it could be we are doing something. It's like we are. We unconsciously are doing more than we think we're doing. But when you flip that and say, oh, my horse or my dog is touching me, it's more receptive, it's more open. And so this. And being able to toggle back and forth and really refining your ability to sense and connect with your animal is what then creates this empowering connection that you can then support and.

And invite your horse or dog to move differently, to feel differently. You can create that sense of safety in the nervous system. So it seems like such a. Like a simple thing, but it's actually quite profound. So shifting from this idea that we alone are responsible, like we have to do something to our dog or our horse to affect a change, rather than can we set up the conditions and invite and empower our dogs and our horses to rediscover how they can feel better in their bodies and their minds.

So it really is a clear distinction. And I think this whole idea of thinking about force versus power is applicable to this because on the one hand, again, I want to emphasize like forcing something, right? Like I have to do this and this is how it's got to be. And you know, you know, the animal's muscle is really tight here or you know, they're moving short strided or whatever it is, and I need to do something to fix that.

And if you can shift out of that and think, how can I facilitate my dog or my horse's ability to regain their sense of health and wholeness in body and mind? And this is what I teach in my programs. I currently also have an amazing group of new students in my Easier Movement Happier dogs program. And they're learning a similar thing, how to set up the conditions for their dog, in this case to feel better in their bodies and their minds.

And you know, it's a whole process you go through, but it really starts with this idea that you recognize it's we're doing something with our animal, not to our animal. So we're inviting this sense of power rather than we are trying to force something to happen. You know, I often use this example with dogs. So you know, if a dog has an injury or surgical repair or something, just say a hind leg, right?

Like a tplo surgery, you know, a knee ligament surgery. And you know, as they're recovering, you know, there's certain protocol you follow, you know, based on what your vet has told you and you gradually introduce levels of movement, you know, different challenges to the, to the dog to help them regain their functioning. But some people are really tempted and, and I've known some canine rehab people who actually teach this.

They have you for example, pick up the non repaired leg. So just say the repair was on the left hind. They'll have you stand your dog and pick up the right hind to force the dog to stand on the left hind. I personally don't find that, that to be very, very effective because it can create then a sense of danger in the dog's nervous system because they may not be prepared for that.

And that in my opinion is introducing a level of force. You're saying, okay, you're not ready yet. But I think you should be. So I'm going to do this instead. What I've done with dogs and what I teach in my programs is, is a much more indirect way of helping the dog in this case. This works with horses too, to shift their weight in such a way that they maintain a sense of safety and choice in the process.

And in, in the case of something like this, of weight bearing in a particular leg, it involves moving the animal's weight, like, like working with them, moving together with them in a circular fashion. Again, I go into detail in the programs about this, so I'm just giving you like the high level view. But it's again, how can we invite a sense of safety, cooperation, rediscovery and so that it's a learning, it's a rediscovery for your, for your animal, not something that's forced to me that's empowering, that is you giving your dog more or horse more agency, more authority, more empowerment.

Like you're empowering them so that they can make choices then that are based in safety and wholeness and connection with you. That's the other beautiful thing. When you work from that place, when you work from the place of this sense of like shared power, if you will, that really deepens your connection. You get really good at communicating through your movement, through your hands with your animal. You start to feel things on a very subtle and very important basis.

So now how would you take this into your own life? Well, first of all, like I said in my programs, I teach you how to use this concept to improve your horse and dog's movements. That's awesome. But then think about it just even in your own life, like, do you feel like you're really butting your head against something, that that something is a slog, it's a struggle? Or can you ask yourself, and this is one of my favorite questions, how could this feel easier when you, when you reframe it, when you think about, well, how could whatever, whatever you're faced with, whatever, you know, activity or challenge or whatever issue you're dealing with, how could it feel easier?

How could this process feel easier? And that's what we want to also again, bring to our dogs and our horses this idea that we can bring a sense of ease, joy and discovery and this then can generalize through the animal's entire nervous system and your own and very importantly, that connection between you and your dog and your horse. So it's, it's such a big difference. It's such a big difference.

It's much more a dance, a partnership when we think about power versus force. So I hope that gives you a little food for thought. Let me know how that lands with you. How does that resonate with you? Do you want to know more? And I also want to give a shout out to my very dear friend Donna, who we were having a conversation about this the other day and I thought would make a really good podcast episode.

So thank you to her. So anyway, if you have an idea for a podcast, let me know. I'd love to hear what you're dealing with. And I look forward to helping you and I look forward to seeing you again soon. Bye for now.