Help Your Dog Move with Ease & Confidence in 3 Steps #133

In this transformative episode, movement expert Mary DeBono reveals the simple yet powerful 3-step framework she's used successfully for over 35 years to help dogs of all ages and conditions rediscover easier movement, reduce anxiety, and improve their overall quality of life.

Mary shares compelling stories from her practice, including an anxious Anatolian shepherd who found peace through gentle touch, and a paralyzed Chihuahua who recovered completely from stroke in just three sessions. You'll discover how chronic muscle tension doesn't just affect movement—it creates "background noise" in your dog's nervous system that impacts behavior, attention, and emotional well-being.

The three-step process—Connect, Relieve, and Remind—works by establishing a neurological connection with your dog, relieving overworked muscles and chronic tension, and reminding the nervous system of new movement possibilities. This approach helps dogs generalize a sense of ease and safety throughout their entire system, often resulting in improved confidence, reduced anxiety, and enhanced quality of life.

Whether you have a senior dog struggling with mobility, a rescue with behavioral challenges, or simply want to maintain your dog's vitality, this episode provides practical insights into how gentle, intentional touch can create remarkable changes in both movement and behavior.

Key Takeaways

• The 3-Step Framework: Connect (establish neurological awareness), Relieve (reduce chronic muscle tension), Remind (help nervous system rediscover easier movement)
• Movement and Emotion Are Connected: Physical tension creates "background noise" in the nervous system that affects behavior, anxiety levels, and ability to focus
• Chronic Tension is Everywhere: Even inactive dogs develop habitual tension patterns from environmental factors like slippery floors
• Gentle Touch Creates Change: Non-habitual, pleasant touch primes the nervous system for learning and improvement
• Focus on Possibilities, Not Problems: The approach looks for what's possible rather than trying to "fix" issues
• Connection Builds Through Meeting Needs: You create deeper bonds by providing immediate relief and ease
• Results Can Be Dramatic: From stroke recovery to renewed jumping ability, the framework can create significant improvements

TRANSCRIPT:

I'd like to share a simple three step process that I've been using successfully for over 35 years to help dogs improve their movement. You know, to feel better, to have more vitality. And also for those anxious dogs or dogs who are easily distracted, it helps them focus, it creates a state of relaxation. And in case we're meeting for the first time, my name is Mary Debono and and I'm the host of the Easier Movement, Happier Life podcast.

I'm the author, author of Grow Young with Your Dog. I created an approach called Debono Moves for animals and I am now leading this incredible program. It's an eight week program called Easier Movement, Happier Dogs. I'm delighted to say it's almost full already. It's a beta version I'm offering at a really big discount. I'll make sure there's a link if you're interested. There's just a few spots left, but in any event, let's get back to business.

So let me share with you this simple three step framework that I use and that you could consider using as well. And the first step is connecting with your dog. Now you may think, Mary, what do you mean connecting with my dog? I'm really bonded to my dog already. The connection is already there and that is great. But I'm talking about a different kind of connection. Yes, that's wonderful that you feel that bond.

There's a little more you can do to help your dog connect with you on I'm going to say like a nervous system level so that they're really paying attention when you put your, your hands on them. Because the work that I teach, maybe, maybe I should back up a little bit. The work that I teach is a gentle hands on approach that helps the dog kind of like rediscover easier movement.

And I work with dogs of all ages, all levels of condition, you know, from, you know, very geriatric dogs to dogs recover from surgery, dogs recovering from stroke. Just dogs who like the, the people want them to maintain their activity level or maybe dogs that have hip dysplasia or you name it. Like, I've worked with from like really, you know, young puppies all the way to very geriatric dogs, so.

And everything in between, to every dog in between. So with that said, the connection I'm talking about is really on like the kind of like the neurological level that you're able to use your hands in such a way that the dog and you are in a state of what I call shared awareness. You're both paying Attention to the same sensations. So let me give you an example of this.

So some time ago I was asked to work with this Anatolian shepherd. He was probably mostly Anatolian. I think he had something else mixed in with that. But in any event, his person had adopted him from a county shelter and he had a lot of anxiety. And you can also tell he had stiffness in his gait. Now he was probably like a middle aged dog. And I was so happy that this woman adopted him because it's not usually an easy dog to place right there.

They have certain, especially being older, he wasn't like an old, old dog, but he was, you know, middle aged. He wasn't super young, we'll put it that way. And he already was showing like some, some slight issues. I mean, he was cleared by the vet, but you can tell there was some stiffness going on. And she was a horse person, she was a very educated horse person. So she really knew movement.

So she knew something was going on with him besides just the anxiety. So she had invited me to come work with him. And you know, the first thing I did was I was watching him move about her property. Like she put him in like, like a fenced area. So it wasn't just her whole horse property. And I made sure that I reduced my pressure on him. So in other words, I wasn't staring at him, I was giving him space.

I turned away from him, I sat on the ground, I, you know, I did all those. Which by the way, I go into a lot of detail in my program about this because even with your own dog who's very comfortable with you, there's a certain level of pressure we unintentionally put on them, especially when we're learning something and we have like an agenda, if you will, like, oh, we want to help our dog.

So the dog feels that kind of intensity of us. So I do go into detail about this because this is important. It can help a dog really stay present with you if you know how to reduce that. So in any event, I made sure I did all those things. The dog eventually made his way over to me and he laid down. And one of the things I noticed was when he was walking, as I mentioned, he had some stiffness, especially like around the shoulders.

So I thought, well, to connect with him, I want him to feel like a sense of relief right away, like something pleasurable about my contact. And this is different than just scratching or you know, petting a dog. We're talking about something that is non habitual that they don't normally feel because that can get the attention of the nervous system in a way that the nervous system is then primed to learn.

But it has to, the dog has to feel safe. I mean, you can do a lot of things that are non habitual, you know, that would be very unpleasant to the dog. We don't want that. Of course. What we're looking for is something that combines safety with a feeling of ease and pleasure. So that is a great way to like start a connection. So in my case with this dog, I started very gently working with the muscle, the soft tissue around his shoulder blades in such a way that, and you know, because I've been doing this so long, I'm trained, I'm a Feldenkrais method practitioner as well.

I, I know how to do that right. In a way that's going to bring him a sense of relief. And it was, his person was really amazed because she said, I cannot believe his lying because he was then lying on his side and she said, he doesn' let anyone come up to him. And I looked at her and I said, you make a connection by meeting a need.

And she loved that line, by the way. She's a, she's an author, she's written a number of books and she's like, that needs to be the first sentence in your book. Which it wasn't the first sentence, but it's a really important part of my work and that's, I want to share that with you. It's this idea of building a connection by, you know, as, as soon as you can, you, you do something that engages the dog in this way that combines, that associates like a sense of ease, a sense of relief with a sense of safety and novelty at the same time.

Because again, we're priming the nervous system. And when I say learning, you might wonder, well, Mary, what is a dog supposed to learn? You're trying to help the dog move better. Yes. The dog can relearn, can rediscover how to move with more ease. Same is true with humans, by the way, and horses and cats and basically anyone with a nervous system. I've worked with all kinds of animals.

So that's the idea is we want to first have a sense of connection with the animal. We want to, you know, share that space in a very attentive way. Because my attention is, is quite necessary for this process to be successful. And so is the dogs. So that's number one. I'm going to show you an image, a graphic in just a moment. So that's Number one, the second step in the framework.

And again, I go into great detail in my Easier Movement, Happier Dogs program on how to get all these steps. So the first one, though, is connect. You connect with your dog. The second step is relieve, and there's a lot of overlap, and the can be overlap in these steps, and there certainly was with this Anatolian. So the second step is relieve. I find that's very, very important to give the dog a sense of relief.

Again, this goes back to, we need a sense of ease and a sense of safety. Right. And if we go to relief right away, what happens? And when I say relief, what does that mean? It means that you know how to use your hands to kind of like take over the work of parts that are. You know, it's usually soft tissue that has been overworking, that's maybe chronically tense.

Like, I see this all the time with dogs and. And other animals, humans, horses, everybody, that we overuse some areas and underuse other areas. So those overused areas, what's happening is that those muscles are chronically working. They're. They're overworking. They get sore, they get tight. And then there's other parts of the body that are not doing their. So then that leads to damage. Because the body wasn't designed for these particular parts to just constantly be working and these other parts to be slacking off.

Basically, they've gone kind of offline. And we get into the whole, you know, neuroscience behind why we do that. It's based on our habits. Dogs develop movement habits the way we do. Right. There was always a good reason for them to develop the habit, but over time, it becomes maladaptive. So very often. So that was often happens with the dogs. So you want to give them. You want to be able to use your hands in such a way that you're making that chronic habitual tension unnecessary.

So the dog feels like, oh, okay, I don't have to work so hard. So now, again, remember, we're working with the nervous system. The nervous system starts to experience things differently. Now the dog is like, oh, I mean, they're not maybe thinking this consciously, but their nervous system is experiencing life with, say, a freer, more flexible spine, you know, because now you've helped those muscles to let go.

That's huge. And this is the really key thing. I love this so much because this works hand in hand with the emotional state, with behaviors. So when you help a dog rediscover, which is the next step in our process, rediscover easier movement. They experience life differently. So they feel different emotionally as well. And this then can change behaviors. It can make them, you know, more confident in themselves so they don't have the anxiety.

And this is what happened with that Anatolian. And I've seen this over the years, many, many. And sometimes it happens in one session, sometimes it takes many sessions for this to happen. You know, we go at the dog's pace, we meet the dog where the dog is. So, so that's number two. That's step two in the process in our framework is relieve, relieve the effort. That constant working that some parts of the dog are doing.

And this applies, by the way, you might think, well, my dog doesn't work. My dog, you know, lies on the couch all day or whatever. And you don't know how parts of their body are chronically contracted more than others. Like for example, if a dog is walking on slippery surfaces, like maybe you have tile or hardwood floor and you haven't put down like runners or something like that, or carpeting in areas.

A lot of times those dogs, the inside thigh muscles are constantly contracting to help the dog maintain balance. Okay, that's not a good thing. That can actually lead to back problems over time. So something to keep in mind, that's something else we go into, like making sure the environment is conducive to the long term health and vitality of your dog. Okay, so moving on. So that's step two.

We did relieving effort. Now we go into reminder. What do I mean by remind? What we mean by remind is you use your hands to again, remind the dog that these different parts can participate in movement. That for example, the ribs can be more flexible, the sternum can be involved with the movements of the back. There's a whole process. Again, I teach this in the, in the Easier movement, Happier dogs program.

There's a whole process of how we use our hands to remind the dog's nervous system that the movement can be easier and freer. We do passive movements. And this is the key thing. It's so cool to know that we can help our dogs in ways that they can't help themselves. You know, like we can help them with that. And this is not, I want to be really clear, this isn't about fixing your dog.

And this never replaces veterinary care ever, ever, ever. But it's about working with the dog. Like you and the dog entering into this wonderful, very present moment, like, you know, shared awareness state, whatever you want to call it, that you're learning together. You're rediscovering a sense of Ease. Because as part of this, what you're learning as well, and I, again, I teach this in my program. How to sit in a way where you feel more balanced and your arms are free and you don't have that chronic tension in your neck and shoulders, and your hands are soft and, you know, your pelvis and back are free to move with your dog.

So all this is part of the program. So let me just wrap up a second here. So. Oh, because actually there's. I say it's three steps, but it's circular. And I'm going to show you the graphic in just a moment. But we. We go back into connect. Connect was our first step. Remember, it was connect, relieve and remind. Then we work our way back to Connect. Because now we want to connect this newfound freedom of movement with something functional, like going for a walk, playing tug, you know, going for a run, you know, just doing your.

Your, you know, throwing the toy, whatever it is. We want to connect it to something functional for some dogs. Maybe there's a senior dog and they don't do those activities anymore, but you're connecting it to easier, you know, easier climbing up and down stairs. Right. Or maybe this. I've seen this a ton of times, both myself doing it and with my students, that dogs who could no longer jump on the couch or the bed regain that ability.

Right. Because they've learned to use their back and their hind legs in a more coordinated way. Right. Because the person has done the steps. Now, I can't guarantee that's going to be the case with your dog, but these are some of the things that we've seen over the years. So we go back to connect. Connect it to a functional movement. Something that's going to make a meaningful difference in the dog's life.

Life. The quality of life for you and your dog. So let me show you that. That graphic. Hopefully I can do this. See, I'm going to hit share. Here it is. Okay, I think you guys can see that. So this is the graphic. So, you know, I like to call the Bono moves. It's possibilities in motion. Because we use movement, AKA motion, in a very gentle, very intentional and specific way to help bring about change.

Change in the way your dog can move through life. Change in the way your dog is feeling emotionally, change in. In your relationship. Because this. When you connect with your dog on this level, with this level of attention, you're really listening to your dog, that bond becomes really, really strong and your communication overall improves. It's really pretty cool, I have to say. I Love doing this work because it just fills me with such joy when I do it and when I share it with you.

So let's go back to just brief review of the three steps. It's actually more than three steps, but we start with a connect. Remember we talked about that, about, you know, finding a way. And there's. There's many different ways to connect. You know, sometimes I connect at a distance because the dog wouldn't be comfortable with me touching them. So again, I go through this in the program. So then you go and you think about, how can I relieve a sense of effort?

How can I help the dog generalize a sense of ease and safety through their system? That's what we're looking for. We're looking to generalize. So that means that then everything just becomes easier for the dog. That's a really important concept. You can generalize a sense of ease and safety for the dog. And one thing I'll just mention, in this work, we do not try to fix anything. We do not cause discomfort.

We avoid that at all costs, because that is not a positive learning environment. What we're doing is we're looking for new possibilities, and that's our focus. We don't focus on problems. Okay. We focus on new possibilities. So we look. Okay, what can I do to help kind of interrupt the maladaptive habits that my dog has, Maybe that excess tension? And I can show you how to recognize the areas that are tense in your dogs and the areas that are kind of overworking.

Like I talked about, we relieve the effort there, right? That quiets the nervous system. And this is the cool thing. When you help quiet the nervous system, it's like you quiet that background noise. Because when a dog is uncomfortable, whether through chronic tension, unbalanced movement, you name it even it's very low level. It's like a noise in the nervous system. So they can't pay attention to other stimuli.

And so when you, by your hands, relieve that effort, then the dog can pay attention to more things. Now the nervous system is quiet and can, like, sense more. So your communication often really gets refined, right? You develop this almost, you know, like just imperceptible way of communicating with your dog. It's very, very cool. And you can feel more, and your dog can feel more, and it's just.

It's just lovely. Okay, then we move on to remind. We want to remind the dog of what's possible, right? We're looking for new possibilities. Tell you a quick story, and I'll link to this wherever you're watching this, I'll link to this because I wrote a blog post about him and there's photos and stuff. I, I worked with this Chihuahua who had a stroke and he really, I mean, like he was paralyzed on one side and he had, he had been at the veterinary hospital and the vets did a fabulous job.

I mean, they did everything they could and they recommended euthanasia because he was not improving at all. Not improving at all. Despite the lengthy stay he had there, was not improving at all. So his person wasn't ready to say goodbye and she had read about me in a dog publication and so she, you know, had an appointment with me. She literally picked him up from the hospital and brought him straight to my office.

And, and again, I want to put out a disclaimer. This doesn't happen with every dog, but I've had more than him recover completely from strokes, so. And maybe they would have recovered anyway, I don't, I don't know. But the timing was really interesting. Says, I can explain what I did. And again, it's all explained in the blog post, but this little Chihuahua came to me completely paralyzed on the one side, right?

She had to syringe in water and food. I mean, he, he couldn't do anything yet. You know, he just, he could just lie on his side. So I started working with him and, and he was such a delight too. He was incredible delight. And he started walking. He started, while you'll read all about it in the blog post, but he started walking. And so I worked with him then a second time, I think, and then in my office and he was doing so well.

After the second session, it was just like amazing that he was now a little harder to keep still because he was like, woo, I can walk again. So the third session, I decided to go to the woman's home. This is, I was doing in person sessions at the time and I went to her home because I wanted to see how he was in his own environment. And he was running, but he had like a list, you know, he was kind of listing to the side.

So the final session, three sessions, that's all it was. He was running perfectly balanced. I mean, he was like zooming again, doing all the things. So, so again, I, I can't say that this is always going to be the case. And of course I had many, many years of experience and training to get to the point that I could help a dog that quickly. And not all are going to be helped that quickly, of course, but just following this process can be really Remarkable in the changes.

And for some, it's more subtle things. For some, it's much more subtle. Like, I'm thinking of a couple that had a. They had a German shepherd, and she had advanced DM degenerative myelopathy. And she had wonderful vets they were working with constantly. But one of the vets actually suggested that they call me. And this was so. I was so grateful I was able to share this with them.

One of the things the dog was having trouble with, I mean, she was. She was losing the ability to use her hind legs, which is what happens generally over time with degenerative myopathy. So by the time I saw her, she really didn't have use of her hind legs. She was in a doggy wheelchair, et cetera. But when she would be lying down at home, she would sometimes get these spasms.

And both vets were unable to help her with that. They. They. And what I discovered, and this was really very cool, and this was maybe unique to her, okay, is that this dog, Sheba, when I gently supported her sternum and her back in a particular way, that. And again, this is something that I teach, but. So I can't go into all the details right now, but it relieved the effort in her back.

These spasms would stop, and they would stop for a while. So I was able to show her people who loved her dearly and were doing everything possible to maintain her quality of life, how to do that. And that was such a gift to them because, you know, they kept thanking me because it was like they had nothing else, you know, to do. And by the way, one of the vets called me up right away after the next appointment, said, like, how.

What did you do? I need to know that. So that was kind of nice, but. So in any event, there's. There's, you know, all kinds of ways that you can use your hands in a very gentle, very intentional way to just give support to your dog, to help your dog move through life with greater ease. And again, I want to emphasize this never, ever replaces veterinary medicine, and we don't diagnose or do any of those things.

And we don't fix problems or try to cure anybody. It's about kind of rediscovering what's possible for you and your dog. So I hope you found this helpful. And thank you so much for listening. I really love sharing this with you. If you have any questions about my Easier Movement Happier Dogs program, please let me know. You can email me at [email protected] I'll make sure I put a link to the program because I just have a few spots left.

So if you want in, because we're starting very soon, please click that link and get the details. Okay, thank you again. I look forward to talking to you soon. Bye for now.